Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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