Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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