We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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