The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
