If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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