I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
