there's paper in my vomit.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
