i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
