He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
