She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
