Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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