yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
