She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize