i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
