wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
