I'm really into asian looking animals
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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