Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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