He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
