She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
