Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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