he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
