Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
