So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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