I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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