i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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