he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
