So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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