I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
