I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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