it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
