i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
