The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
