On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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