Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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