Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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