And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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