How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
