if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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