carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
