Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
