M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
