If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
