hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am one with the molecules
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
