The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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