So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
