If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
