No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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