Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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