yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
