I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
