At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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