Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
