your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's the barista slut.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
