if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
