I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
