he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
