We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
