dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She is in my trunk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
