halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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