8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Someone came in the potted fern
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
