Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
