I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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