i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
