You really coming over, don't trick.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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