It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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