well I can't set my house on fire every night
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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