I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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