My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize