You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
