what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
