A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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