don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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