Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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