thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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