my phone needs a breathalizer
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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