butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
