I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
