wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My balls are so social today.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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