so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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